OUR HISTORY

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is an alcoholic beverage invented by ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, considered by the Guide to be the "Best Drink in Existence". Its effects are similar to "having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick".

Sissy Hawkshaw was a very special lady, born with super-massive thumbs.
Instead of shame, hurt, or crazy, she learnt to use them one by one.
She hitch-hiked far from old town to New York, where even cowgirls get the blues.

Many miles away in the Forresters Arms, Paddy was standing in urinal queues.
This legend thought, with willy in hand… of a way to honour Sissy in his own homeland..
Epiphany came, a fantastic idea…. For the most amazing day to come once a year.

So paddy rushed out, to tell all the news, how we’ll hitchhike to bars led by trails of clues.
We’ll all have a buddy and wear fancy dress, and drink every stop and end up a mess.
There’s no competition, there are no losers; merely a mission, and dozens of boozers.
So only with rhyme, and no single reason, we ready ourselves for the summery season.

And that was the start, in case you’re unsure, of Sissy Hankshaw’s Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster tour.
— The epic tale of Sissy Hawkshaw.

Go on, read the book.

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